Confession: I’m really bad at being still in both a micro and macro sense.
In the last couple months, I’ve kicked up my yoga practice quite a bit which emphasizes being still and present in the moment. I’m realizing I am absolutely terrible at this. My “To Do” list is almost always a mile long and I feel a bit like I’m just wasting time when I try to relax. It takes a serious effort to get my mind to rest and just enjoy being still. However, when I am able to relax and restore my energy I’m actually more productive than if I hadn’t partaken in my yoga practice. Who would have thought? 😉
In a macro sense, I spent several years getting on planes every week. My Monday morning commute was a flight out-of-town and I would generally return on Thursday evenings. This is a pretty standard travel schedule at large consulting companies. As long as the price was consistent, there was also opportunity to adjust my flight schedule to include personal travel. As someone with the “travel bug”, I really appreciated the access to travel opportunities.
The full-time travel lifestyle taught me to be radically independent and not to incur commitments in my home town. Now that I’m dealing with more intense cancer treatments, I’m finding that this lifestyle is no longer maintainable for me. In order to feel good, it’s super important for me to sleep well (when I’m on medications that cause insomnia), eat healthy and in small, frequent meals, and get exercise everyday. Travel makes most of these things pretty difficult. I no longer have the ability due to my health to be as flexible as required for long-distance travel to be as enjoyable as it once was.
Honestly, this is very disappointing to me but in order to continue to live my best life I’m *trying* to learn to be still. I figure I can be upset that traveling is not as easy or fun as it used to be or I can appreciate that I had the opportunity to travel at all. To compensate, I’m adjusting my focus to local travel which is a bit easier as I can plan/bring more items and it’s not as if Northern California is lacking in natural beauty. I can continue to go a thousand miles an hour or I can take some time for myself and make sure not to burn myself out. This is where my yoga practice comes in.
These are examples of the conscious lifestyle choices I make. In order to live my best life, I’m learning to be still.